WTF??


 

I really have no idea either.


Die…t


 

Me and the soon to be hubby just started a Diet together.

Not a hard one,

not a expensive one

not a silly one

its pretty normal if you want to

lose weight, change your eating habits and be healthy-er

BUT

NO SUGAR

NO CAFFEINE

Water, lots of water..

My Head is Pounding!

I want coffee..

full of fucking SUGAR!

why cant it be day 3 when this wont bug me

….SUGAR!


Wednesday’s Ashtray!


Thats Right, this is Wednesday’s Ash Tray.
Whats a Wednesday’s Ash Tray, you ask?
~Its only a collection of sh*t i find on the interwebs and leave here for you to enjoy.
Why on Wednesday?
~Great Question! Because Wednesday is the day *most* people need a boost, something for them to lose some time too, and why shouldn’t I be the one to provide that?!?!
Why did you call it Wednesday’s Ash Tray?
~Well, Wednesday kind of gets the sh*t end of things, its not awesome, its not sucky, its just that middle. Besides Tray rhymes with day very well, and I like Wednesday.

 

♥This site is amazing, thanks to the Bloggess for this one.

♥ Meat.. Hats?

♥ Wanna Do it? Here ya go!

♥ Death.. to stuffed things?!

♥ Find your Zombie soul mate.

And now I leave you with this picture.

..I have nothing..


If you follow reason far enough it always leads to conclusions that are contrary to reason.


These are pictures and videos that I found today, while doing my home work.

What homework you ask?

My Psychology of Religion homework.

What was the homework.

Oh, ya know..

religion and evolution.

Yay. Me. My fav.

 

Um, I think this has something to do with..

something.

 

This fight made me mad, I lost 10 bucks on it!

 

 

Then this happened, and poor Suze and Timmy

They cried for their teachers soul.

Then I watched a video

Then life was all better.


I love you like Jeff Dahmer loves body parts.


“The history of Valentine’s Day is unclear. According to The History Channel, some historians believe that Valentine’s Day is celebrated in mid-February to mark the anniversary of St. Valentine’s death or burial.

Others believe that Valentine’s Day celebrations were started by the Catholic Church as a way to Christianize the pagan Lupercalia Festival, a fertility festival intended to mark the official start of spring with ritual cleansings.

Whatever the history of Valentine’s Day, each February 14 has become a highly commercialized holiday in North America and beyond, that’s intended to celebrate love and relationships.”

So

I wanted to wish all my readers a Happy Valentines Day

So I found a Few Valentines to “give” you all

or for you all go “give” out!

Oh, and these are so not me hitting on you,

unless your someone I should be hitting on, of course.

Eh, take it like you always do 😉

"I'd remove the hair from any where for your love"

the * are just becasue I know you are "slow"

Need I say more?

Condoms are free at the city Clinic

For the Reals

and to end this Happy Valentines Post:

 

“I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day.

When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.”


Eyes, Pee, Poop, Hearts, Money, Abestos, Tampons = This Post.


I find some strange things on this wonderful thing we call the

INTERNETS

These are pictures that I have found lately and wanted to share with you all.

I was thinking of adding them to Wednesdays Ashtray

But

I think they should get a post of their own

So lets get this Started!

Lasik@home

 

Can I have two?

I hope that a lot of people order these and then die, less stupid people.

But thats just my view.

Poop.Twice.

These are things that I feel EVERYONE should know.

That means you.

Poo.First.+Pee?

 

I think that this is much better then when I walked in to my sons room,

at the age of 6m and he had rubbed poop all over his crib.

This is a much better answer.

Plus I would like two sets in the house, I want to throw poop and pee at people,

with out the mess!

(Also you can send out Pee and Poo ecards)

4 Dollar Bill, Ya’ll!

 

And to think, I didn’t get hired at McDonald’s

Wow, I think both people should be charged.

How do you take a 4 dollar bill?

How can you look at it and think nothing is wrong?

How can you make a 4 dollar bill?

How did these two meet?!

I am pretty amazed at this.

Get that 30 mins in somewhere!

 

Fat Kids.

I am a fat kid, I so get this train of thought.

But sorry dude, it doesn’t count

Step away from the Big Mac and

Hit That Bitch, then put on your Abestos Tampons Cd

And sing her this song!

 

The look them up and get their CD

And some Blumpkin stickers!

Hell Ya!

 


Twofer’


I am very proud of the Resume I just made So I am Posting it on here for everyone else to ooo and ahhh over 🙂

BUT

I am also going to post another blog later tonight or early tomorrow!

Oh and yes I know about the typos and spelling issues, I have a fixed one,

i just didnt save it in .jpg like this one so you

guys get the rough draft 🙂

Awesome Right?!?!

Asking For Help, Very Hard For Me.


There are things I need, not a lot of things just a few, and why.

By doing this you can see that the things I need really aren’t that bad and maybe someone will give them to me,

or help me get them

because I need them and I am a deserving person that pays it forward. 🙂

A Fruit Basket,

Why?

 

Awe, so yummy and pretty!

Because I would like to give it to a woman who has done so much for me, I owe her so much more.

and not meaning it has to look like the above picture, just a fruit basket is more then enough

Plus, I have always wanted to give a fruit basket.

A car battery.

Scott and I share his car, but the battery is dead.

We do not have the money to buy a new one, so we are using my grandmas car,

I would really like to give her back her car.

New Socks.

I need them, the kids need them, the almost hubby needs them, pretty simple.

1000.00 dollars.

I know this seams crazy to just ask for money

but I do not like to ask for help, or if someone offers I most of the time say no.

Why you ask, I dont feel like I deserve any help,

and this is something I am working on with my therapist (who i see for free thanks to my college!).

So here I am on the internet asking some people i know and some i do not know,

for money. I need the money because i am a college student that has been out of work

not for lack of trying, and my soon to be hubby is supporting all four of us by himself

but his job is getting payed by if someone comes in

there for, we dont always have the money we need for bills.

As of right now, we have not payed our rent. I know you all know the date,

we are close but not there yet, 1000.00 dollars would catch us up on rent and the rest of our back bills.

I think thats a lot of money, but i know a lot of others do not.

Now, i would like to state that i do not expect anyone to help someone unless they can and only if they want too.

With that said, even if i dont get anything that i need, we will still push on and do what we can.

I just wanted to take the chance.

Thank You for reading.


Shit PanCakes


Starting this post from a tweet I tweeted

(you didn’t see it, that’s your fault, VonElleBeeStine),

” grumble grumble… Damn car.. Damn snow.. Coffee heartburn..

Frozenredhurtyfeets..Today is lame, I move that it be stricken from memory.”

And then I struck it from memory.
Thus the problem with writing this post, what the fuck was today?

Oh, yeah.. The car, the just fixed car, stopped being fixed.

It snowed a bunch, which is so freaking lame.

I hate snow.
Rain, I love rain, not snow.

Snow sticks around, it becomes mush-ice-yuck, it makes me have to wear shoes, its cold, it freezes things

(see: Fuck You, Jack Frost),

and it makes me get up earlier, which since there is not morning, makes my mind all freaky-out-ish!

Oh, huh..
Oh yeah, back to today.

Plus, I was so excited to get a Giauge (Giant+Huge) cup of coffee on this early-ish-on-my-way-to-school,

time of day, for said Coffee, to end up luke warm.

Eh… I figured I will still drink it, it got luke warm because

I was to involved with my werewolf, and I love coffee, so I couldn’t just throw it out

(see: Coffee!).

Then broken car happens, coffee gets really cold, fucking snow,

in and out of broken car, walking to wait for my Super Grandpa to save me, feets little frozen blocks.

 

Like this, but EVERYWHERE!

I still drink coffee to keep from crying, then coffee turned on me.

Coffee enraged heartburn.
Not cool coffee, not cool..
I still have said heartburn and it makes me sad, that my friend and love would be so cruel.
So, I struck today from today and that was that.

I also had to go to the food market, I drug the Jake along,

because he hates it but he really likes it, plus he’s funny.

 

Really?!

He wanted these stupid applesauce in a to-go tube thing-y,

I told him that it wasn’t worth it, but he was all pouty jakey eyes and so he got the damn applesauce.

I got revenge.

All fifteen minutes worth of the drive home,

I told him how he could have got 128oz of applesauce for the same price as the 30oz we bought.
Then he said, “MMMMMOOOOOOMMMM” and I said,

“Hey someday you will be at the store and you will need applesauce.

You will remember what I said and by the better deal, then you will have money left over for Cheeseburgers,

wouldn’t you rather have cheese burgers and applesauce then just applesauce.”

Then I continued on this tangent tell we got home,

where I told him he was lucky to have me as a mom,

most moms would not teach their kids about applesauce prices and pretty much free cheeseburgers,

just for being smart.

I do win mother of the year, and I didn’t even have to shit pancakes.

In your face other mothers!


Fuck You, Jack Frost!


Brrrr is a goddamn understatement.

 

Its so cold, I have ice on the inside of my bathroom window, yeah thats right The Fucking Inside.

 

Not Cool, but Cold.

My heater is trying to keep up with this cold, its been running all night but still cannot get the house above 68.

 

Jack Frost Your An Asshole.

 

ooo.. click me!

Yes, thats rape. Jack Frost is an evil mother fucker.

Stay Warm!

 

var _gaq = _gaq || [];
_gaq.push([‘_setAccount’, ‘UA-21203727-1’]);
_gaq.push([‘_trackPageview’]);

(function() {
var ga = document.createElement(‘script’); ga.type = ‘text/javascript’; ga.async = true;
ga.src = (‘https:’ == document.location.protocol ? ‘https://ssl’ : ‘http://www’) + ‘.google-analytics.com/ga.js’;
var s = document.getElementsByTagName(‘script’)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
})();