Temporomandibular Joint Disorder Or Temperament of my Jaw is Disturbing

TMJ syndrome, is an umbrella term covering acute or chronic inflammation of  temporomandibular joint, which connects the mandible to the skull. The disorder and resultant dysfunction can result in significant pain and impairment. Or so says Wikipedia.

I say its My ASSHOLE of  A Jaw bone wanting to run away and leave me with my mouth all a gape! For days and days the hinge of my jaw hurts, it hurts when I eat, talk, drink, yawn, or do nothing. Its just sits there in its little home and tries to break free, I can hear it singing,”I want to break freeeeee“. I love Queen as much as the next girl but come on!!

I hate when this happens so I always check out my best friend the internets on the things I can do to help my jaw realise that it loves its home and needs to knock its shit off.

These are the things my bestie tells me to do:

•Apply moist heat or cold packs~ Whoa.. Moist, WHAT?!

•Eat soft foods. ~I only want to eat soft food because my Jaw IS TRYING TO ESCAPE!

•Wear a  night guard.~ I do not think the addition of a human on my face will help.

•Avoid extreme jaw movements.~ Duh, if it hurts don’t do it!

•Don’t rest your chin on your hand~ Damn, if my hand isn’t there how am I suppose to keep my jaw from running away?!?!

Wow…internets way to drop the ball on that one. ::Shakes Head::

Now, I am left with two ways to fix this, let my jaw be free, or duct tape.

I’m going with Duct Tape.