Tag Archives: pain

Dreariness


As many of you know I have Depression.

Yes I have it, and no as far as I know, it’s not contagious.

Depression is just like its sounds, depressing it makes you tired, sad, emotional, it can cause unexplainable pain, headaches and it can make you feel like you have the worst case of the flu ever.

It sucks.

I have treatment for my illness, but some days I still hit the bottom of the barrel. Just like having any illness, it’s treated but not cured.

Today, my friends, is one of those days. It took all I had in me to even think about getting out of bed, and that is impressive, I got out of bed. There was a time where that would not have happened, not for this girl, bed, bottle of water and a book, and you wouldn’t see me all day.

Not today though I got out of bed, now I didn’t shower, but I’m not in my P.J’s so that is even a bigger plus. There are a lot of things that are making my day awful, but I am not going to go through the list.

I just wanted to state to the world, I got out of bed and I got dressed. I am impressed with me. And that’s a big deal to me, so I made it a big deal to you.

Here are some links on depression:

What causes Depression

Neurobiology

This is something I have to tell myself, not just others.


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*This, is gonna get mushy*


I am crying, tears of the unbelievable.

I live in the idea that 90% of humans are evil and mean pieces of crap. That idea, my friends, has been over hauled. I no longer think that, because of the wonder giving heart of Jenny The Bloggess. I read Jenny’s Blog like it’s my crack, she can make me laugh when I need the pickup she can make me melt (read about the Traveling Red Dress), she is an amazing writer and an amazing person. With this said, She decided to give back this Christmas differently then she usually does, with this idea: Donating gift cards from the money she made from James Garfield Christmas Cards, this got others involved and more donations came in, more people in need posted, and it just kept going ( go read this now, just click the links!!!).

I am so moved, my heart feels less broken, and trust me this year has been awful, for me, my friends and my family! I have lost seven people that I love .This year, seven people have passed and I wasn’t ready for any of them to leave, we never are ready for that. The hole that I have grew so large over this year alone; I could have jumped through it with an elephant.

After Tonto passed, going to his celebration of life, helped heal that hole a bit, there were so many people there that loved him and wanted to help donated what they could to help with his cremation and to donated to the hospice center. I was moved and amazed to see that love just pour over everything there. Then Jenny happened.

Not only with all the love that was written all over her blog but the pureness of it all has made me feel like, there is a reason to keep going, make new friends, even if I could lose them too, because trust me after this year, the Last thing I wanted to do was get close to anyone else, I just couldn’t take more pain. I now am looking at things different, I am seeing the joy and love, I have been shutting out.

My Christmas spirit is now flickering back on as well. I have hated Christmas for a very long time, not that all my Christmas’s were bad growing up, I just had the worst ex-step sister and blah blah blah, she is/was a bitch and had to ruin everything (thanks for that Bre). I held on to that feeling and my Christmas spirit only sparked back up when I could see the joy in my son’s eyes about Christmas, HE made it magical and wonderful for me again, and then the flame would die back out till next year when his eyes would light up again. Now, Thanks to Jenny and all of her “minions” that spark is a flame, not a huge, everything is perfect flame, but my eyes have been opened and the past has been let go, and all I can say to this is Thank You.

I am so grateful, amazed, and in love with all of you. The words I write do not do justice to the feelings I feel, feelings that I know how to deal with! So, I end this mushy, and tear filled post with this:

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.  ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Shower the People You Love with Love by James Taylor

You all have inspired me to Change things about me that I thought were set in stone, thanks for the jack hammer!


Temporomandibular Joint Disorder Or Temperament of my Jaw is Disturbing


TMJ syndrome, is an umbrella term covering acute or chronic inflammation of  temporomandibular joint, which connects the mandible to the skull. The disorder and resultant dysfunction can result in significant pain and impairment. Or so says Wikipedia.

I say its My ASSHOLE of  A Jaw bone wanting to run away and leave me with my mouth all a gape! For days and days the hinge of my jaw hurts, it hurts when I eat, talk, drink, yawn, or do nothing. Its just sits there in its little home and tries to break free, I can hear it singing,”I want to break freeeeee“. I love Queen as much as the next girl but come on!!

I hate when this happens so I always check out my best friend the internets on the things I can do to help my jaw realise that it loves its home and needs to knock its shit off.

These are the things my bestie tells me to do:

•Apply moist heat or cold packs~ Whoa.. Moist, WHAT?!

•Eat soft foods. ~I only want to eat soft food because my Jaw IS TRYING TO ESCAPE!

•Wear a  night guard.~ I do not think the addition of a human on my face will help.

•Avoid extreme jaw movements.~ Duh, if it hurts don’t do it!

•Don’t rest your chin on your hand~ Damn, if my hand isn’t there how am I suppose to keep my jaw from running away?!?!

Wow…internets way to drop the ball on that one. ::Shakes Head::

Now, I am left with two ways to fix this, let my jaw be free, or duct tape.

I’m going with Duct Tape.


Potatoes Scream


When you cook up your best pal Potato do you know that he is Screaming?!

Yes.. Those poor taters.. Screaming and crying and no one listens.. No one believes! Even Google is trying to cover it up, just try it Do Potatoes Scream when they are cooked they want you to look to see if tomatoes do and tell you about Lobsters. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my good friend the lobster, but we all know what they say before they get cooked “F@*k!”. Mr. Potato how ever has his eyes cut out, his skin peeled and then he’s cooked up, all while alive!

Or sometimes he just gets slowly baked to death, and not the I smoked too much pot and laid in the tanning bed to long, baked to death either! 

Okay, I know you are feeling bad for Mr. Potato because I was too when I realized what he had to go through! So I talked to my dear friend potato and he told me as long as we talk to him and express that his death is not in vain, he doesn’t mind filling our bellies. I said okay, because between you and me I love to eat, me some taters! I didn’t tell him that though.. I didn’t want to break his little spud heart.

Now, dear friends just tell your potatoes that it will be okay and that he is going to the great potato in the sky, then eat eat eat!!

I’ll Find away to deal with google later..