Tag Archives: Silly

Slacker.. Or the Holidays Happened..

Alright, as most of you know, 2010 Sucked Ass Big Time, so heres to all you and the hope that 2011 doesn’t suck as well. I can tell you this, Im going to find that bad ass MoFo Father Time and kick him in his corn hole if he doesn’t give up the goods!

It will be a wicked fight to the death but I will do it to take over father times place a make 2011 a rad ass year! I’ll be Woman Father Time and and mess up all this stuff!! In your Face Traditions, I guess I’ll just have to rob some sperm banks to make the New Years Baby, But you gota do what you gota do!

But On the Reals.. Dont Be Dumb Asses And Drink And Drive. (insert hold my beer joke here) I love all you guys and would hate to hear of you killing yourself or someone else because, “It was only 3 beers and a shot”. Get Real, take a cab!

Nice Car, Guys!

Here is the Math for you. Get it? Good Job!

So, Since I stacked off.. here is Wednesday Ashtray, on Friday but it all rhymes so its all good!

Yada Yada—— Fridays Ashtray, is brought to you by the Awesomeness that is the internets and my super rad readers!

Backin Up?

Baby Munkey What What!

Fun Things to Do When You Should Be Working!

Oh My God, No Really WTF!

Once Was Not Enough!

These People Gots ALL Your INFO, Get OFF THE LIST!! hehe i said “get off”

everything from pics you’ve posted on FB or web, your approx credit score, home value, income, age, etc. You can remove yourself by searching for yourself on their site, copying the URL of your page, then go to the bottom of the page and click on Privacy button to remove yourself.

And Last But Not Least!

♥Erin You ROCK, I Loved My Email!! ♥

♥ Wanna Be Cool Like Erin? Yeah me too! :)♥

♥But For Reals, Send This Girl An Email! ElleBeeStine@gmail.com♥

Temporomandibular Joint Disorder Or Temperament of my Jaw is Disturbing

TMJ syndrome, is an umbrella term covering acute or chronic inflammation of  temporomandibular joint, which connects the mandible to the skull. The disorder and resultant dysfunction can result in significant pain and impairment. Or so says Wikipedia.

I say its My ASSHOLE of  A Jaw bone wanting to run away and leave me with my mouth all a gape! For days and days the hinge of my jaw hurts, it hurts when I eat, talk, drink, yawn, or do nothing. Its just sits there in its little home and tries to break free, I can hear it singing,”I want to break freeeeee“. I love Queen as much as the next girl but come on!!

I hate when this happens so I always check out my best friend the internets on the things I can do to help my jaw realise that it loves its home and needs to knock its shit off.

These are the things my bestie tells me to do:

•Apply moist heat or cold packs~ Whoa.. Moist, WHAT?!

•Eat soft foods. ~I only want to eat soft food because my Jaw IS TRYING TO ESCAPE!

•Wear a  night guard.~ I do not think the addition of a human on my face will help.

•Avoid extreme jaw movements.~ Duh, if it hurts don’t do it!

•Don’t rest your chin on your hand~ Damn, if my hand isn’t there how am I suppose to keep my jaw from running away?!?!

Wow…internets way to drop the ball on that one. ::Shakes Head::

Now, I am left with two ways to fix this, let my jaw be free, or duct tape.

I’m going with Duct Tape.

Sad Biscuit

“Sad Biscuit Sat on my plate.
Sad Biscuit just could not wait.
So with all of his courage, with all of his might,
Sad Biscuit gave up, and turned out his light.”

And Boy, Sad Biscuit was super tasty with some jelly on him!

‎’Vitamin Yum’ is not really a Vitamin. You have been warned.

If you google Vitamin Yum, well, you get things about soda, mormans, vegans and why Pom does (not) fix your erectile dysfunction, this my friends is why i warned you. Plus spell check gets really mad if you dont capitalize google or morman ( ha ha spell check I’m winning!).

Back to the message at hand, Vitamin Yum, this might sound like a cure all vitamin but its not. As well as,the words, organic and all natural, people didn’t you learn anything from the burger king drive through?!?  Come on, admit it, how many times have you really, “Had it your way?”.  Two outta Ten, thats what I thought! Companies just want to label it so you will buy it, so read a little farther then the flashy words on the front. You can’t even fully trust what the USDA sticker is saying!

Also, if you are in a foreign country, learn the langue or get someone you trust to read for you. Do you really want to just find out the flavor of the chips, where one guy steping on the other guys nuts?

The Answer is No, No you do not. See what a great friend I am??
I just saved you from eating smashed testicle doritos!
You are very welcome!