Tag Archives: sorrow

*This, is gonna get mushy*

I am crying, tears of the unbelievable.

I live in the idea that 90% of humans are evil and mean pieces of crap. That idea, my friends, has been over hauled. I no longer think that, because of the wonder giving heart of Jenny The Bloggess. I read Jenny’s Blog like it’s my crack, she can make me laugh when I need the pickup she can make me melt (read about the Traveling Red Dress), she is an amazing writer and an amazing person. With this said, She decided to give back this Christmas differently then she usually does, with this idea: Donating gift cards from the money she made from James Garfield Christmas Cards, this got others involved and more donations came in, more people in need posted, and it just kept going ( go read this now, just click the links!!!).

I am so moved, my heart feels less broken, and trust me this year has been awful, for me, my friends and my family! I have lost seven people that I love .This year, seven people have passed and I wasn’t ready for any of them to leave, we never are ready for that. The hole that I have grew so large over this year alone; I could have jumped through it with an elephant.

After Tonto passed, going to his celebration of life, helped heal that hole a bit, there were so many people there that loved him and wanted to help donated what they could to help with his cremation and to donated to the hospice center. I was moved and amazed to see that love just pour over everything there. Then Jenny happened.

Not only with all the love that was written all over her blog but the pureness of it all has made me feel like, there is a reason to keep going, make new friends, even if I could lose them too, because trust me after this year, the Last thing I wanted to do was get close to anyone else, I just couldn’t take more pain. I now am looking at things different, I am seeing the joy and love, I have been shutting out.

My Christmas spirit is now flickering back on as well. I have hated Christmas for a very long time, not that all my Christmas’s were bad growing up, I just had the worst ex-step sister and blah blah blah, she is/was a bitch and had to ruin everything (thanks for that Bre). I held on to that feeling and my Christmas spirit only sparked back up when I could see the joy in my son’s eyes about Christmas, HE made it magical and wonderful for me again, and then the flame would die back out till next year when his eyes would light up again. Now, Thanks to Jenny and all of her “minions” that spark is a flame, not a huge, everything is perfect flame, but my eyes have been opened and the past has been let go, and all I can say to this is Thank You.

I am so grateful, amazed, and in love with all of you. The words I write do not do justice to the feelings I feel, feelings that I know how to deal with! So, I end this mushy, and tear filled post with this:

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.  ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Shower the People You Love with Love by James Taylor

You all have inspired me to Change things about me that I thought were set in stone, thanks for the jack hammer!